ESSAY INFORMATION:
Written by: Xuân Phi, 25/10/2021
Supported by: Ex-BC Examiner, 27/10/2021
Question: Some people believe that it is a good idea that older people continue to work if it is possible for them to do. Do you agree or disagree?
(IELTS Academic – 23/10/2021)
This week’s post includes two essays – one marked 5.5 and one marked 8.0+; this is meant to make a comparison in terms of the use of vocabulary, essay structure and grammar between the two.
ANSWER (5.5):
People have been arguing about old people should continue work even if they get 60 or older. Some say that these old working people stay in employment can does good for society. However, I think that older people should not remain employ at work.
If old people continue work, they can earn a lot money on their own. By giving the old people jobs, they won’t have to rely on anyone for money support to live until they pass. For example, my grandmother is 68 years old and she is still working as shopkeeper and sells secondhand books. She decided to stay working at her age since she doesn’t have much money on her bank account and therefore continue to work for possibly another 10 to 20 years. This is exemplary of how keeping senior people at work can do good for society although we do not feel good about her working.
However, allowing older people to work can put younger out of work if older workers are allowed to keep jobs for a very long time, younger people will not be able to get job. There is a clear example. For instance, there are more workers over the age of 60 in Vietnam in the last ten years. This is happening because older workers refusing to retire and the retirement age is rather high, therefore millions of younger people are fail to find jobs in all major industry in Vietnam.
In conclusion, even though old people going to work can money on their own and not rely on anyone else for help, younger laborers will suffer when trying to finding work. That is why I believe that the government must only allow old people to work up to a certain age.
Word count: 292
ANSWER (8.0+):
As longevity increases, there has been recent debate about the best age for retirement. While some maintain that raising this requirement may be beneficial for older individuals, I am of the opinion that they should not remain employed given the risk of a higher youth unemployment rate.
On the one hand, proponents of incorporating senior citizens into the workforce argue that doing so can encourage greater financial independence. Older workers can continue to earn salaries to financially support themselves and not solely depend on their pensions or family. To give an example, the U.S. Bureau of Labor has found that 19% of Americans aged 65 and over are part of the workforce, with the majority of them choosing to participate out of their need to earn personal savings in order to live comfortably for the remainder of their lives.
However, allowing older people to remain in employment can exacerbate unemployment rates among younger workers. Raising the retirement age means older workers remain in their jobs for extended tenures, leaving younger people with fewer vacancies to fill. For example, the proportion of manufacturing workers over the age of 55 in South Korea has risen nearly two-fold from 16 to 30 percent in the last ten years. This has been mainly attributed to older workers refusing to retire and government policy related to the retirement age, leading to millions of younger people failing to find work in the manufacturing industry.
In conclusion, while permitting older people to enter the workforce can afford them greater financial independence, it can also put younger laborers in a difficult position in terms of finding work. That is why I believe that the government must strictly regulate the maximum working age of citizens.
Word count: 287
WORD LIST:
ENGLISH | TIẾNG VIỆT |
Increased longevity | Tuổi thọ tăng |
Longer life expectancy | Tuổi thọ cao hơn |
Promote individual prosperity | Thúc đẩy sự thịnh vượng/giàu có của cá nhân |
The risk of a higher youth unemployment rate | Nguy cơ tỷ lệ thất nghiệp cao cho thanh niên |
Make a fortune | Gây dựng nên một khối tài sản lớn/trở nên giàu có |
Proponents of incorporating senior citizens into the workforce | Những người ủng hộ việc đưa người cao tuổi vào lực lượng lao động |
Encourage greater financial independence | Khuyến khích sự độc lập tài chính cao hơn |
Financially sustainable | Bền vững tài chính |
Dependent on their pensions | Phụ thuộc vào lương hưu |
Extended tenures | Nhiệm kỳ kéo dài |
Put sb/sth in a difficult position | Đặt ai đó vào tình huống khó |
Maximum working age | Độ tuổi làm việc tối đa |
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