ESSAY INFORMATION:
Written by: Xuân Phi, 22/11/2021
Supported by: Ex-BC Examiner, 24/11/2021
Question: Some people think that big companies should provide sports and social facilities for the local community. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
(IELTS Academic – 20/11/2021)
This week’s post includes two essays – one marked 6.0 and one marked 8.0+; this is meant to make a comparison in terms of the use of vocabulary, essay structure and grammar between the two.
ANSWER (6.0):
There have been people who want corporations to build sport and social venues to provide for local communities. While it can be nice for those companies to do this, I ultimately think it is an unnecessary expense.
To begin with, a company can build these kinds of facilities as a way for them to do their part in helping the community. As these venues are lacking in most towns and villages, corporations can take the initiative in building them so that members of the community can find a place to hang out with fellow members and bond over shared interests. Recently, Vandelay Industries, a soft drink manufacturer based in California, provided money for building dance halls in many small towns across the state. This has encouraged more citizens to go out and hang out with fellow dancers.
However, I think it is a waste of money for companies to build such facilities for the community. Ultimately the best way for companies to support the local community is to hire its members and give them good paying jobs so that they can support their families instead of building these unnecessary venues. A few years ago, a local fast food chain based in England was offered the opportunity to build gyms in small towns across the country. However, they decided against this and instead moved to hire the citizens of these towns, thus boosting the local economy by a large margin.
In conclusion, while companies can build these communal centers to help the local community, it would be more effective to hire members of the community itself as they would be grateful that they are given a job.
Word count: 276
ANSWER (8.0+):
There have been calls for large corporations to build sports and social facilities for the local communities where they operate. In my view, I would agree on the grounds that these facilities can strengthen communal bonds and promote a company’s image in a positive light.
Firstly, as most people are increasingly beset with professional and familial duties, they often lack the time to participate in communal activities and forge meaningful connections with one another. By constructing sports and social facilities, these companies can grant these people the appropriate setting for them to participate in common activities. This is evident in cities well-known for quality of life such as Hanoi where most of the parks there have been built by Vinaconex, one of the largest companies in Vietnam. Hence, most of the local denizens are able to engage in conversation with each other and forge new relationships during holiday seasons or through recreational activities held in those parks.
Secondly, the provision of communal facilities can create a positive image of the sponsoring companies. These facilities promulgate a sense that the sponsors are giving back to the community and fulfilling public promises of social responsibility. This can therefore build trust between these large companies and the local people. To cite one instance, Nostrand Ltd., a latex manufacturer based in upstate New York, provided funding for local sports centers in various towns across the state, enabling their citizens to engage in various community-based sports. A by-product of this act is residents there now appreciate the brand and purchase the company’s products at a higher rate.
In conclusion, large companies should be encouraged to provide sports and social facilities for local communities as they can help strengthen communal bonds and promote their brand. Such facilities will continue to flourish in the near future because of these decided benefits.
Word count: 304
WORD LIST:
ENGLISH |
TIẾNG VIỆT |
Strengthen communal bonds |
Tăng cường mối quan hệ cộng đồng |
In a positive light |
Dưới một lăng kính tích cực |
Beset with professional duties |
Bao quanh bởi trách nhiệm công việc |
Communal activities |
Hoạt động cộng đồng |
The appropriate setting |
Điều kiện phù hợp |
Communal house |
Ngôi nhà cộng đồng |
The local denizens |
Cư dân bản địa |
Festive events or recreational activities |
Sự kiện lễ hội hoặc hoạt động giải trí |
Provision of communal facilities |
Sự cung cấp của cơ sở vật chất cho cộng đồng |
A positive image |
Một hình ảnh đẹp/tích cực |
Giving back to the community |
Trả lại cho cộng đồng (mang nghĩa trả ơn) |
Corporate responsibility |
Trách nhiệm của công ty |
Purchasing the company’s products in droves |
Mua hàng loạt sản phẩm của công ty |
Turn in a large profit |
Thu về một khoản lợi nhuận lớn |
These prescribed/decided benefits |
Các lợi ích đã đưa ra |
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