Written by: Xuân Phi, 13/09/2021
Supported by: Ex-BC Examiner, 14/09/2021
Question: Not many young people in countries around the world go to and enjoy concerts and plays. Why is this the case? Should they be encouraged to attend?
(IELTS Academic – 11/09/2021)
This week’s post includes two essays – one marked 5.0 and one marked 8.0+; this is meant to make a comparison in terms of the use of vocabulary, essay structure and grammar between the two.
In many countries like Viet Nam, I can see a profileration prevailing in them that young people are not attend concerts and plays, but the opposite trend can be seen in much people are choosing to watch videos on Facebook and Tiktok. Although social media can bring about various benefits to entertain, young adults should definitely choose to go ourside and enjoy a good night.
To begin with, young people are not attending concerts and plays that much becaus they like online ganes and funny videos. Plays and concerts are so long that it can be hard for young people to watch them they don’t pay attention very long. In addition, the house where people have concerts are typically far from their houses since young people can not travel very fast without their motorbikes. Moreover, many student don’t have the money given by their parents enough to buy ticket and they don’t want their parent to know they wasted money on going to concerst and plays.
However, we must participate in various concerts and plays. Many scientist have found that watching a concert can avallete the world’s problems. As a result, those who have money enough can relaxed and will not worry about their busy working schedule and heavy workload. Therefore, student feels less stressed in doing their homework after watching a play or concert. Thus, parents should give their children more money to invite their friend to concerst and plays.
In conclusion, the youth should attend these types of events reduce stress. I would suggest for attendance to go up, young people (especially students) should take their time during the examination period to watch a concert or play to relax after hard test.
Word count: 284
Recently, the attendance rate for concerts and plays is declining among young people. This can be attributed to the popularization of shorter forms of entertainment. However, I think young people should still be encouraged to attend as such events can allow them to momentarily release stress.
As stated before, the main reason for the dwindling attendance rate of concerts and plays among young people is the proliferation of shorter and more modern forms of entertainment. As most plays and concerts last for 2 to 3 hours, it can be hard for young people to devote their attention to them since they are easily distracted. Hence most have turned their focus to shorter forms of entertainment such as YouTube and TikTok videos. For example, a typical concert usually lasts for two and a half hours whereas videos on those social platforms typically run from 10 seconds to a minute. As a result, younger generations often do not find such long-winded events appealing.
Despite this, young people should still be motivated to attend concerts and plays as doing so can help them to reduce stress. There is scientific evidence to support this notion as psychologists have found that watching a musical or dramatic performance can reduce cortisol levels in the body, which is a hormone known to cause feelings of stress and anxiety. As a result, audience members feel more relaxed and are less likely to worry about the pressure brought on by their hectic working schedule. It is clear from this evidence that the case for attending concerts and plays is rather strong.
In conclusion, the low attendance for concerts and plays among young people is due to the introduction of shorter forms of entertainment. However, I contend that they should still make an effort to attend these types of events as they can help to reduce stress levels.
Word count: 308
Popularization of shorter forms of entertainment
Sự phổ biến của các phương thức giải trí ngắn hơn
Momentarily release stress
Giải tỏa căng thẳng trong giây lát
Dwindling attendance rate
Tỷ lệ tham gia suy giảm (từng chút một)
Sự phát triển/gia tăng mạnh mẽ
Short attention span
Khả năng tập trung vào một thứ gì đó chỉ trong một thời gian ngắn
To devote attention to sth
Tập trung sự chú ý vào một cái gì đó
Dễ mất tập trung
Kéo dài, nhàm chán
Scientific evidence to support this notion
Bằng chứng khoa học để ủng hộ ý tưởng này
Nội tiết tố
Nồng độ cortisol trong cơ thể (đây là một hormone gây căng thẳng)
To make an effort to do sth
Cố gắng làm một điều gì đó
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