ESSAY INFORMATION:
Written by: Xuân Phi, 04/10/2021
Supported by: Ex-BC Examiner, 06/10/2021
Question: Some people say that men are naturally more competitive than women. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
(IELTS Academic – 02/10/2021)
This week’s post includes two essays – one marked 6.5 and one marked 8.0; this is meant to make a comparison in terms of the use of vocabulary, essay structure and grammar between the two.
ANSWER (6.5):
Our current society has seen women make meaningful advancements in both professional and personal aspects. However, the belief that women are less competitive than men is still held by most people. In my estimation, I agree with this sentiment on the basis of self-intimidation and their historical roles.
Firstly, it has been discussed that the vast gender difference in competitiveness is linked to women’s lower levels of confidence. Indeed, they tend to hold less positive beliefs about the outcomes of competition than men, which leads them to underestimate their chance of winning. To demonstrate, a survey published by Harvard Business Review has found that the majority of female participants were less willing to earn a bonus based on their competitive performance rather than their absolute performance since they know they will earn less than the men. Therefore, it can be deduced that women are not fond of competition whether professionally or personally.
Secondly, one other key reason behind women being less competitive than men is the limited chances they were given to excel in comparison to their male counterparts. Prior to modern times women were mostly consigned to domestic roles such as cleaning the house, cooking food and child-rearing while the majority of the physical and administrative labour was done by men. In addition, societies at that time designated the men as the chief breadwinners of their families. As a consequence, women are only starting to keep pace with men in finding their own jobs and making their own money.
In conclusion, I concur that men are naturally more competitive than women due to them having less innate confidence and their traditional domestic roles in society. In order for women to be equally competitive, the government must promulgate measures that ensure men and women are earning the same wages for their jobs.
Word count: 302
ANSWER (8.0):
Our current society has seen women make meaningful advancements in both professional and personal aspects. However, the stereotypical belief that women are naturally less competitive than men is still held by many people. In my estimation, I disagree with this sentiment since women are as equally driven as men to succeed and they have biological duties that are merely different to men.
Firstly, contemporary society has witnessed modern women rapidly progressing in professional and personal spheres. Females work in almost every business sector as they can excel equally as well at any job as their male counterparts. Women have risen to the same executive-level positions as men within the private sector as they are motivated now to do so out of a desire to be treated and considered as equals. A clear example of this is VietJet CEO Nguyen Thi Phuong Thao, who thanks to her unflinching will to compete in the male-dominated air travel industry in Vietnam, now has a net worth of 2.8 billion US dollars, making her the second richest person in Vietnam and the richest woman in the country.
Secondly, this stereotype only persists because women have inherent biological duties that are unique to them such as birthing and rearing children that are more subtly competitive. Because of those household and maternal duties, many women leave their jobs to dedicate enough time to raising a family. If women are to establish themselves professionally, they have to expend more effort to have time for their careers. Unlike with men, it is not always possible for women to do this because their biological responsibilities as wives and mothers are an obstacle for their career aspirations. However, this obscures the competitive nature of women since they often leave their jobs to raise families. These inherent biological duties merely put women in a different place from men and the byproduct is that it conceals their competitive nature.
In conclusion, I do not concur with the assertion that men are naturally more competitive than women since they have shown to be equally driven as men in being proficient at their work and their biological traits are the reason for this prejudice. With the way society is currently progressing, this conservative way of thinking is becoming rapidly outmoded.
Word count: 378
WORD LIST:
|
ENGLISH |
TIẾNG VIỆT |
|
Meaningful advancements |
Những tiến bộ mang nhiều ý nghĩa |
|
Self-intimidation |
Sự thiếu tự tin do tự đánh giá thấp bản thân |
|
Vast gender differences related to competitiveness |
Sự khác biệt lớn về khả năng cạnh tranh giữa các giới tính |
|
Underestimate their chances |
Đánh giá thấp khả năng của họ |
|
To excel in sth |
Giỏi một lĩnh vực gì đó |
|
Consigned to domestic roles |
Được giao phó công việc nội trợ |
|
Physical and administrative labour |
Công việc chân tay, công việc điều hành |
|
Chief breadwinner |
Trụ cột chính trong gia đình |
| To keep pace with someone/sth |
Theo kịp ai đó/cái gì đó |
|
Innate confidence |
Tính cách tự tin bẩm sinh |
|
Gender wage gap |
Chênh lệch lương giữa các giới tính |
|
Sexism in the workplace |
Phân biệt giới tính ở nơi làm việc |
|
Sexual harassment/assault |
Tấn công/quấy rối tình dục |
|
Gender stereotypes |
Định kiến về giới tính |
|
Objectification of women |
Vật hóa phụ nữ |
|
Inherent biological duties |
Trách nhiệm sinh học vốn có |
|
Unflinching will to compete |
Tinh thần cạnh tranh không nao núng |
|
Household and maternal duties |
Tránh nhiệm gia đình và trách nhiệm làm mẹ |
|
Career aspirations |
Khát vọng sự nghiệp |
|
Competitive nature |
Bản chất cạnh tranh |
|
To be proficient in sth |
Trở nên thành thạo một việc gì đó |
|
Conservative way of thinking |
Lối suy nghĩ bảo thủ |
|
Treated and considered as equals |
Đối xử một cách bình đẳn |
|
Male-dominated industry |
Một ngành công nghiệp mà nam giới chiếm đa số |
|
Byproduct |
Sản phẩm phụ |
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